It’s Monday morning again and as I sit at my desk at work, I realize what a morning I’ve already had.

Wake up, workout, make lunches, get showered and dressed, make sure girls are dressed, rush through breakfast, rush some more to get them in the car. Race down the highway to get to school on time. Give up in traffic and park a block or so away. Walk then start to run in skirt and heels with 3.5yr old on hip (otherwise, little legs can’t keep up) panting and legs burning from exertion just so we can make it to class before the tardy bell rings. Kiss big girl goodbye and wish her a happy and fun day.

Back to car to drop off little one. This time, not so much of a hassle as no bell haunts me with the dreaded pink slips. Give her hug and a kiss, then another kiss and say bye-bye. Get back in my car, take a deep breath, get a drink my almost cold coffee.

It’s 8:15am and now, it’s time to be my professional self and drive to work.

I missed my workout yesterday morning and felt so blah about it all day. I went home and I squeezed in a workout while Phil took care of the girls. I really didn’t want to end the day on a blah note. It made me feel much better although it did push my bedtime past 11pm. Still worth it.

This morning, I woke up and despite the lack of sleep (tossing and turning kind of night) I got up and worked out because I didn’t want to spend another day thinking about a missed workout.

Phil’s really great about giving me the time to workout whenever I need it. It helps that we’re on the same page about getting healthy and working out. It keeps us both motivated and on track.

My older one asked me why I workout. I explained to her that since I sit behind a desk all day and don’t get to go outside to play and run around, I have to workout to get some exercise. She asked why I sit around all day and I had to tell her that for some people, their jobs make them sit in front of a computer almost all day. She suggested that I should go for a walk or run around after I finish up my lunch. Good idea.

It’s been storming out lately. Last night, there was thunder and lightening. The kind of thunder that shakes your house and lightening you see behind closed eyelids. This is no ordinary storm. We don’t get storms like this on the west coast. Needless to say, it kept me up. It also took down our power for a little while.

I woke up at 5:15 am thinking about whether I should go and workout in the darkened “gym” aka garage. I decided against it. I was beeing a wuss. Climbed back in bed and snuggled the girls who found their way into our room again.

Woke up an hour later to that sick feeling in my stomach. I should have gone to workout. The power stayed on long enough. I had enough time and I really didn’t need that much sleep. I feel guilty for the missed opportunity and my whole day I’ve been thinking of that missed workout.

Now I’m obsessing over when I can make up for it.

It’s actually been a great eye opener for me. This has made me realize how much a part of my day working out has become. I really hope that this will serve to remind me the next time I even think I should miss a morning workout.

My girls share a room and the older one sleeps very well, but the younger one likes to move to my bed. At some point in the middle of the night, she wakes, walks down the darkened hallway and quietly opens my door. Just as quietly, she slowly closes the door before making her way to the side of my bed where she whispers “Hi Mama. I want to sleep in your bed.” With a sheepish smile on her face, she climbs in to snuggle. Her legs are inevitably cold because she kicks off her blankets, the likely the reason she woke up and came over. She sticks her cold little feet between my legs to warm her toes and with a smile on her face, closes her eyes to sleep.

Before she was potty trained, I would listen for the sound of her diaper swishing as she walked down the hall. I miss that swishing sound just as I’ll miss the sound of small feet taking small, almost trotting steps when she gets older and outgrows the “baby” gait.

My older one is 7 and she’s walking around in my shoes. She’s not flopping around in the shoes either… she’s really walking in them. She’s almost fitting into my 6.5 size shoes!

I’m expecting to be the shortest one in this family. Phil’s 6ft 4in and I’m only 5ft 3in on a good day. My girls are taking after their father, tracking to be on the tall side and already, the older one is getting close to my chin. The fact that she can walk around in my shoes and not have them fall off her feet is quite amazing to me.

My mom, sister and I are all about the same size, within an inch of each other. We wear each others shoes and sometimes, can wear each other’s clothes. It helps that my mom is a young mom and she wears clothes that I would wear. It’s pretty cool to be able to do these clothes and shoe exchanges. It certainly making present-buying an easy task.

I’m not going to be able to do that with my girls. In a couple of years, when she gets to be my size, I can’t very well borrow her clothes and I’m certainly not sharing my heels with her!

To put things in perspective… her other 7/8yr old friends are wearing size 13 shoes. After size 13 is size 1 in youth and so on. She is currently wearing size 3.5! Much bigger shoes than her fellow classmates.

She’s going to be bigger than me in the next few years. I wonder how much effect my scolding will hold when the one being scolded is bigger than me?

My youngest is now 3.5yrs old and it has crossed my mind a few times lately that babies are rather nice and that children are wonderful (after you get past the daily drama at my house). The youngest also came to me one evening and said “Momma, I want a baby brother.”

Children can get expensive and exhausting. The thought of a few more years of expensive day care puts a damper on any baby thoughts. The cost of full-time day care for a baby and pre-schoolers can be cost-prohibitive. It’s no wonder some women choose to be stay home moms.

I’ve barely got quality time to spend with my own 2, I can’t figure out how I can manage another. I really don’t know how large families do it. I think it’s a whole different way of life and a completely different way to see what “quality time” and “one-on-one” time means.

Staying the course with our family of 4 is the way to go. At least for now.

My hubby Phil did a huge re-org in the garage to make more room for “my gym”. We’ve got a 2-car garage that had just enough room for 1 car to be parked because the walls were lined with gorilla racks filled with file boxes, bins with seasonal decorations, old books, crap and more crap. Buried within the 2nd bay of the garage was a little space for working out.

He took stuff to a shared storage unit (all my old files), rearranged all the gorilla racks and cabinets to make more room and gave away or donated the rest. He organized everything so that things weren’t just shoved into places, but were logically located and had easy access for use (if they’ll ever get used again, another topic altogether).

In the end, there was space for the car to park and a whole side of the garage became the gym. I call it “my gym” because I complained most loudly about the lack of space to workout.

We’ve been working out in the garage for well over a year now, but it was always cramped and cluttered. I think  he just got tired of hearing me complain about it or, more likely, he got tired of using the same cramped space and did something about it.

This makes me really look forward to and enjoy my workouts. Great way for me to keep my workout/health promise to myself.